My phone broke last week. Rather the camera broke. It wouldn’t focus causing every picture to come out blurry unless I switched to rear facing, which was annoying. I had to reverse the camera, then kind of stand-off to the side as I tried to direct it at what I wanted to capture.
Considering my muses are two active toddlers, I rarely got a picture off that didn’t include the top of my knee, the bottom of their feet, my fingers blurred across the image, them just having stepped out of frame or a seriously unflattering selfie.
It was highly frustrating and set me into a panic that I was not able to capture all these perfect moments. How else was I going to remember the time they rode the scooter for the first time at the indoor playground, if I didn’t have the picture or video to look back on?
Staying in Focus
As each day went by with no camera I began to notice that not taking their picture was freeing. I just sat and watched them play. Or played with them without anxiously leaping up to grab my phone thinking “please don’t stop what you are doing so I can capture this moment.” And I am sure it was a pleasant reprieve for them not having a camera in their face for a week.
I missed a lot of moments that would have made a nice addition to my photo library but I also had a lot more moments of just being with my babes. Let’s face it, they aren’t going to be babies much longer. This time is so fleeting, I want to enjoy being with them while they want to be with me too. It won’t be long before they will be letting go of my hand and asking me to drop them off at the corner so they aren’t seen with me.
Please, I am beyond grateful that technology is where it is and they should be grateful too, my brothers and I were tortured on Christmas morning waiting for my dad to set up lights in order to use his camera before we got to see what Santa brought us. My kids will never have to suffer that injustice.
It also makes it easy for family to witness so many funny moments of the boys and family living far away. It allows you to feel you are a part of their daily life even when you live far away. Technology is great, but sitting with your twins on your lap and reading 15 books in a row is kind of better.
The End Result
In full disclosure I only lasted a week with no camera, I couldn’t go forever with out clear pictures of their stunning faces. But I made a vow to not run to it every time something magnificent happens, rather just enjoy the moment.
So for now, I need to find the balance. Balance between capturing and simply observing. When the time comes and they drop my hand, I am sure technology will have advanced even further. By then my phone will have a telephoto lens so I can shoot pictures of them from afar capturing all of their teenage life moments with no guilt because they don’t want to be seen with me anyways.