making friends

Something is happening and it is breaking my heart in the sweetest way, the boys are making friends.  For the most part it is still a bit of a forced friendship in that their friends are the children of my friends, nevertheless they are engaging with other kids in a way they never have before.

They have always played with each other.  It must be a twin thing, because they have had their own games between themselves since they could crawl.   However, other kids have largely been ignored.  Sometimes they would take notice of someone, but for the most part, after a quick stare off, they would go on their way and either play alone or with each other.

When Things Begin To Change

And then suddenly, it began to change.  They have started to engage with other kids, fully participating in whatever game has been imagined.  It is so incredibly adorable and fulfilling to watch them play with other kids.  I get filled with love for them and the idea of established friendships from toddler age and as they go through life.

making friends

It is also so interesting to watch how they go about interacting, once again proving how incredibly different they each are.  Atlas is much more social.  He actively seeks out kids now.  It is almost an anthropological experiment to watch him decide who he deems worthy of playing with.  There could be a group of kids but for some reason, he will often find one and walk over, stand right by their side until they notice him, smile at them, then begin to engage in some sort of play.  It often doesn’t matter what the game is, if he is interested in a certain kid, then he will play.  The most amazing thing is that, 90% of the time he chooses a girl. In some ways it doesn’t surprise me that he always chooses the girls, he is devilish in the most engaging sort of way and it is hard to resist him.  I worry for the teenagers who fall for him later in life.

For Kellan on the other hand, it is the activity not the person who draws him in.  He is quite content playing on his own, conjuring up some sort of game, as he is usually the one that creates them, however, if someone is playing something that he deems interesting he will play.  He almost acts as if they are lucky to have him participate, but that is how Kellan has always moved through life.  My husband often says he acts like he is someone who expects his drinks to be paid for.

I am so curious to see how their behavior towards other kids change as they grow or will it essentially stay the same?  I can see Atlas having a lot of friends, where Kellan has a handful of really good ones.  I also worry that Atlas’s need to impress might overwhelm kids or Kellan’s seeming aloofness might be mistaken for indifference.  I guess I can’t control any of it when it comes to them making friends.  I can only watch and enjoy this new chapter in their development and lives and find solace in knowing as much as they are playing with others, they still check in with each other.  They don’t always need to play together but often will stop whatever they are doing and call out for their brother.  Just knowing he is around and ok gives them the confidence and comfort to carry on their way, and that friendship, I hope never changes.

 

 

 

 

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