This weekend we converted the boys cribs into toddler beds and my heart broke a little bit. Each new milestone tears at your heart a bit, but some can make it feel like a piece was ripped out. This was one of those.
Seeing those cribs deconstructed enforced what was already happening at a rapid pace, they are leaving behind the baby life and heading full force into kid-dom. It is all at once exciting and heart-breaking.
I have been waiting for this particular moment for some time. I honestly thought this was going to happen months ago when I first wrote about them climbing out of their cribs. But for whatever the reason, it was a one-off occurrence, so I left well enough alone.
However, during the past 2 weeks the bars on the crib meant nothing to them. In and out Kellan went at his leisure, making nap time non-existent. He would play in their room, climb into Atlas’s bed (who was still too afraid to climb out after his first attempt went awry), run down the hall like a maniac. It couldn’t have been clearer that it was time for the bars to come down.
Prepping for the Change
I had told the boys this was happening this week-end and they talked about it a bit but not much more. Then Saturday afternoon we told them to grab their tools and they could help us transform their cribs. They were beyond excited. I am not sure what was more thrilling for them, having easy access to their bed or the fact that they “helped” put them together.
That day “quiet time,” which are the words that have replaced naps (please, temporarily!), was a bundle of excitement for them. And what has transpired in the 2 days since we have lost the cribs has been nothing short of amazing, heart-filling and exhausting.
Twins does equal twice the love
They did not go back to sleeping during naps, they stayed in their room, playing, reading, talking. We only had to go in once to tell them to calm down and at the end of the hour I went into their room to tell them quiet time was over. I walked in to them both sitting on a bed talking, which was incredibly moving to see.
Also, Kellan was pantless. When I asked him where his pants were he proudly said he went potty all by himself. And he did! He actually went in the potty chair that we keep in their room. I was so proud for him, as clearly it meant so much that he did it alone. I was also excited for myself and my future as this was a tiny opening to a pathway of not having to be the only one who handles bathroom breaks.
New Night Routines
My husband handled night 1 on his own as I was out having wine with some dear friends. When I came home he said not a peep, they went right to sleep. I did find them both asleep on the floor when I went to check on them, but otherwise they had a great first night.
The next morning was when the magic happened. I heard them both wake up and talk about how Kellan went to the potty again that morning. And then they began to talk about whether or not to leave their room and walk down the hall. Kellan was all for it but Atlas was nervous. This is how it went:
K: Let’s go Atty.A: No, Kellan it is too dark.K: Come on, mommy is awake. Daddy is a lazy-daisy.A: I stay right hereK: I’m going, bye-bye Atty.A: Kellan you can’t go, it is darkK: Come on AttyA: Ok (shuffling of feet down the hall) Hold my hand KellanK: ok, I hold your hand
Then after the slowest walk down the hall, 2 tiny figures holding hands and their blankets walked by our bedroom door. I waved as they walked by and Atlas saw me and they both came running in to let me know Kellan peed in the potty again. Heart Explosion.
I literally cannot take when they have conversations with each other. It is insanely adorable watching two little people having a conversation. Then to see how Kellan helped his brother when he was scared almost made my heart burst. There is also something so incredibly special watching the two of them go through these milestones together. The enjoyment they have in sharing the experience is palpable.
The next night they did great again. I watched them in the monitor sitting up in their own bed talking for about 20 minutes before falling asleep. In those 20 minutes I caught a glimpse of their future, two teenagers, sitting on the edge of their beds talking about school, sports, girls, boys, their shit day, week-end plans, everything that goes along with growing up. It was a bittersweet 20 minutes knowing this is another step away from us into their own lives but I am so grateful I get to watch the journey.