multiples

Making Friends

making friends

Something is happening and it is breaking my heart in the sweetest way, the boys are making friends.  For the most part it is still a bit of a forced friendship in that their friends are the children of my friends, nevertheless they are engaging with other kids in a way they never have before.

They have always played with each other.  It must be a twin thing, because they have had their own games between themselves since they could crawl.   However, other kids have largely been ignored.  Sometimes they would take notice of someone, but for the most part, after a quick stare off, they would go on their way and either play alone or with each other.

When Things Begin To Change

And then suddenly, it began to change.  They have started to engage with other kids, fully participating in whatever game has been imagined.  It is so incredibly adorable and fulfilling to watch them play with other kids.  I get filled with love for them and the idea of established friendships from toddler age and as they go through life.

making friends

It is also so interesting to watch how they go about interacting, once again proving how incredibly different they each are.  Atlas is much more social.  He actively seeks out kids now.  It is almost an anthropological experiment to watch him decide who he deems worthy of playing with.  There could be a group of kids but for some reason, he will often find one and walk over, stand right by their side until they notice him, smile at them, then begin to engage in some sort of play.  It often doesn’t matter what the game is, if he is interested in a certain kid, then he will play.  The most amazing thing is that, 90% of the time he chooses a girl. In some ways it doesn’t surprise me that he always chooses the girls, he is devilish in the most engaging sort of way and it is hard to resist him.  I worry for the teenagers who fall for him later in life.

For Kellan on the other hand, it is the activity not the person who draws him in.  He is quite content playing on his own, conjuring up some sort of game, as he is usually the one that creates them, however, if someone is playing something that he deems interesting he will play.  He almost acts as if they are lucky to have him participate, but that is how Kellan has always moved through life.  My husband often says he acts like he is someone who expects his drinks to be paid for.

I am so curious to see how their behavior towards other kids change as they grow or will it essentially stay the same?  I can see Atlas having a lot of friends, where Kellan has a handful of really good ones.  I also worry that Atlas’s need to impress might overwhelm kids or Kellan’s seeming aloofness might be mistaken for indifference.  I guess I can’t control any of it when it comes to them making friends.  I can only watch and enjoy this new chapter in their development and lives and find solace in knowing as much as they are playing with others, they still check in with each other.  They don’t always need to play together but often will stop whatever they are doing and call out for their brother.  Just knowing he is around and ok gives them the confidence and comfort to carry on their way, and that friendship, I hope never changes.

 

 

 

 

Happy Belated Birthday

twins celebrating 2nd birthday

As summer is coming to its end, I can’t help but feel that it was a whirlwind of time quickly gone by. I feel like I am constantly playing catch up and my to do list keeps getting longer.   

Our summer began with a birthday. Two years ago I gave birth to twin boys, tilting my world on its axis and warping time at an incredible pace. It is hard to believe we are celebrating two years with them on earth.

Able to Enjoy

Thankfully, this year was not as much of a blur as the first.   Where the first year of our lives together was mostly about survival and problem solving, this past year has been about falling in love.

It is not that I didn’t love them when they were infants but I was so consumed with trying to get through each day and figure out what the hell I was doing.   Year two has been so much easier, allowing me to sit back a bit more and watch them become who they are. It has been overwhelming and awe-inspiring in the most joyful way.   It is a gift to watch a human being develop into a person who is joining our community more and more every day.

In Awe 

I still marvel at what they have accomplished in the span of 1 year. It is far more than basically everyone else I know. In 365 days they learned to walk, run, jump, ride their bikes and dance in a strange sort of gyrating fashion.

We went from “mama” & “owl” to word after word after word, them greatly absorbing more and more. I will never lose sight of the power of watching someone go from knowing nothing about language to fully speaking and understanding everything I say to them. They learned their colors and their letters. The moon and the sun. Every animal sound, including some I had to make up, because learning the basics was not enough.

Transitions 

They turned a year and soon had to let go of things that brought them such comfort.  Gone were the pacifiers, the bottles and their diapers.  They use the potty, which was no small feat.  They trusted me and I trusted them and they let go of the safety of those things that brought them security and comfort and began walking into the “big kid” world with grace and trust. 

They traveled across the country and back twice like well-traveled pros…well almost but who hasn’t really had some sort of meltdown on a plane. They greet each new experience with a genuine mix of excitement and nervousness but willing to try it all.

The human being is amazing to watch develop. It truly is something so powerful to watch a being go from zero to a walking and talking person, and these two are no exception.

Personalities Starting to Shine Through

Beyond all the motor and physical skills they have accomplished in 1 year it is who they are that has been the real gift.   In a sense, they came into the world as one but it is quite clear they are their own person.  

Kellan has no fear, he will climb a tree, run down a hill, jump into a pool in a heartbeat.   Atlas seems to sense there is some danger to those things, however, once he has accomplished it he will keep going until he has mastered it.   Atlas seems to enjoy problem solving, he likes to watch how something is done and then tries to master it on his own. Kellan is a more peripheral learner. I am always shocked when he does something because most of the time I have never even seen him attempt it.

Thankfully, they both have a sense of humor. Atlas likes to pretend to do things that are funny or make a funny face for a laugh. He likes to plan the joke. Kellan is naturally a goof ball. He is constantly putting on a show and yet, hasn’t a clue how funny he is. Atlas is truly agreeable where Kellan is sincerely dramatic. They are both gentle and sweet and follow directions shockingly well for 2 year olds.

Grateful

I love what this past year has been and sometimes feel like my heart might burst when I watch these two little boys blissfully navigate their way through life.

Even now, in these few shorts months of summer, they have taken age 2 by storm. My admiration for them is building and building and I am realizing it will probably limitless. So as I try to hang on to each moment, I still can’t help be excited about seeing who they are now continue to grow into who they will be in the future.

 

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